Although some relationship fantasies are simply a matter of taste, there are a few nearly everyone shares. One of them is to be the kind of lover their partner can’t stop thinking about. Whether you’re in a brand new relationship or have been married for many years, it’s normal and healthy to want your partner to crave you.
It’s also something that’s very achievable, no matter how old you are or what your life is like outside of the bedroom. All it takes is a little creativity and dedication to get in touch with your inner sex god or goddess. Here are some tips for getting started.
Turn intimacy into a top priority.
Life can get busy for just about anyone, especially once your career really gets going or you have children. It’s all too easy to let things that are important to you – like your hobbies, your alone time, or your intimate life – fall by the wayside, but it’s important not to let that happen when you’re in a relationship.
The truth is people always manage to make time for the most important things, so decide definitively that intimacy is a priority for you and schedule your time accordingly. Yes, intimacy is partly about actually having sex. But it’s also about all the other little things that keep you close as a couple. Think date nights and nice chunks of unstructured time to enjoy each other’s company. Nothing’s sexier than a partner who treats you like a top priority, even when they’re busy.
Fall in love with yourself.
So many people let all the impossible cultural hype out there convince them that they’re not sexy. In the process, they miss out on the opportunity to embrace their own unique sex appeal. Don’t get down on yourself for not looking like an underwear model or a movie star. Your partner is attracted to you just as you are, so it’s time to fall just as deeply in love with yourself.
Don’t obsess over every wrinkle and ripple, but do take care of your body and appearance. Choose clothing, hairstyles, and grooming choices that make you feel confident and sexy. That might mean designer clothing, heels, and full make-up for some people. But for others, it might be jeans and a t-shirt. Get comfortable with who you are and with doing “sexy” your way.
Do your homework.
If you genuinely want to be good at something, it pays to study up on whatever it is, and sex is no exception. If you’re single or dating around, do your homework and learn all you can about what appeals to your gender of choice. Yes, consuming porn or erotica geared toward that gender can clue you in to some of their possible pet fantasies. But reading up on what really feels good is a much better bet.
If you’re in a relationship, there’s nothing quite like a good, old-fashioned conversation when you’re looking to get to the bottom of things. Simply ask your partner what turns them on or whether there’s anything they’ve wanted to try in the bedroom. Everyone appreciates a partner who’s engaged and interested in what makes them tick.
Slow down and take your time.
Think back to when you and your partner were first dating if you’re in a relationship. Do you remember how thoroughly you craved each other and how you really got everything what you wanted out of sex? Get back in touch with that aspect of your passion for each other by slowing down and taking the time to explore each other more often.
Don’t just stick to the places you already know your partner loves being touched. Instead, make time to linger a little and explore their entire body, as you never know what new erogenous zones you might discover. Slowing down and truly savoring the experience of being together is powerful, not to mention a sexy experience nearly everyone could stand to have more often.
Never stop switching things up.
Variety is more than just the spice of life. It’s also the best way to keep things smoking hot in the bedroom between you and your partner. That said, it’s OK to have favorite positions or acts that you go back to again and again, but it’s essential not to fall into a rut and let things become too routine. Go out of your way to switch things up regularly. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to get a little frisky in an unusual place. Start a pleasure chest, and fill it with tantalizing options to reach for when you’re in the mood for something a little different. Sign up for a sexy subscription box to turn adding to your collection into an anticipated monthly treat. Be creative, and most importantly of all, have fun!