Dating

The Highest Highs and Lowest Lows: Using Porn to Balance Your Libido

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They say relationships are all about balance— but what happens when your libido doesn’t match your partners’?

When it comes to long term relationships, there seem to be two major types of disagreements— those about money, and those about sex. While of course all relationships are dynamic and couples fight about any number of things (or perhaps don’t fight at all), sex and money definitely seem to take the top slots when we rank what it is we clash about. 

For some couples, it’s a libido imbalance issue, where one partner will have a high libido and the other will have a less active one. This can wind up throwing off not just the number of times a couple has sex over the course of time, but it can also bring into focus some intimacy issues. Which can be even more difficult to contend with. Luckily, using porn— whether it’s the free porn for women variety, or the male focused season pass to their favorite streaming service— there is an erotica for just about everyone— now all you need to know is how to use it to your advantage, because believe it or not there are more similarities than differences between men and women, when it comes to porn, than you might think.

High Libido 

Libido, or the emotional and mental sexual desire or drive, is a biological factor that most humans have. For some, the libido is something that is there— humming along in the background— largely unnoticed. For others, it’s a source of frustration, especially if it’s too high, too low, or completely out of sync with their partners’. Your libido is influenced by a number of different traits, environments, situations, and moods. Things like hormones and neurotransmitters play a part in regulating libido, where physical situations do as well. Social factors and psychological influences can also help boost or dampen your libido. So, what could be considered too high for one person, could be perfectly normal and enjoyable for the next. 

High libido is often only diagnosed in those with hypersexuality or sex-addiction/compulsion. These situations are linked to extreme and personally damaging behaviors, like:

  • Getting in the way of other life aspects (work, school, relationships, health)
  • Uncontrollable sexual impulses that cannot be ignored
  • Secretive of anxiety-inducing sexual urges
  • Dependency on sex, similar to that of a drug dependency
  • Using sex to avoid and escape real life problems or emotions
  • Inability to limit partners or maintain lasting, stable relationships

While these are just a few signs of sex addiction, the diagnosable mental disorder actually applies to very few people. More often, people just have a higher libido than their partners— meaning they want to have sex more often than their partners do. Porn can help. While masturbation can serve to increase libido, it can also help satiate it. Using porn on a regular basis, but not letting it take over your life (every day or sex life) is perfectly normal and healthy. 

Low Libido

If you seem to struggle with a libido that doesn’t seem to perk up quite as often as your partner— you might have a low libido. Which is also fine, normal, and perfectly healthy? While there are diagnosable conditions that usually result from hormonal imbalances or mood disorders, most people who experience low libido just don’t feel as horny, as often, as other people. Which is in no way a problem or health issue. However, in a relationship, it can serve to cause friction. Discussing libido and desire are incredibly important in any relationship, where you and your partners’ drives aren’t perfectly matched. 

If you feel like you’d like to find ways to improve your libido, porn can also help! Regular masturbation can not only help to promote a number of different hormones and mood stabilizing chemicals, but it can also help lower stress levels, and help you sleep better— all of which could be negatively affecting your sex drive. Masturbation and regularly viewing porn can also help you to better understand what it is that turns you on in the first place— which you can then bring these new-found epiphanies to your partner. Possibly integrating them into your routine. 

While porn and masturbation can definitely help to balance libidos within a relationship, sometimes discussing these issues with a trained professional— like a therapist or counselor— could be even more beneficial to you both. Ultimately, if you’re worried about it, and you have the motivation to try and fix it— you will. But while you’re working it out, be sure and show a little self-love. You never know what it could help!